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Saturday, June 23, 2007

KYOTO AS SISTER CITY?

Our city was not bombed in 1945 because our city was so beautiful and historic. The Americans also did not send any other kinds of bombs. Our shrines, temples, gardens are palaces are still standing. Kyoto is a city on the island of  Honshu. We have many mountains on our island like the Hida, the Kiso and the Akaishi called by tourists the Japanese Alps. Tourists like our alps because of the alpine weather. Also our island has the volcano Fuji mount which is famous. We have also lakes on our island and grow much rice, fruit and very special vegetables. Kyo yasai are traditional vegetables in Kyoto. They have unusual shapes, vivid colors and are very nutritional. For these reasons Kyoto vegetables are highly valued and Kyoto is famous for our cuisine. Our island has lakes and rivers like river Shinano which is the longest river in Japan. Kyoto is very, very old. We are a UNESCO world heritage site called the Historic Monuments of Ancient Kyoto. The first human beings were here in 10,000 BC. We hosted the conference on greenhouse gas emissions in 1997. Companies like Kyocera, Murata and Nintendo are in Kyoto. Kyoto University is one of the top universities in our country like the University of Virginia. Kyoto Institute of Technology is also very famous like Virginia Polytechnic Institute. Our only sister city in the United States is Boston and we would like Charlottesville to be sister city of Kyoto.

Ladies in Kyoto are treated very special, not like in Tokyo. Even Kyoto geisha would not involve in the vulgar conversation as Tokyo geisha. Geisha is a lady who is skilled in dance, music and especially artful, erotic conversation. It was in Kyoto's Shimabara pleasure neighborhood that "ukiyo" or floating world was named. We do not think Mr. Caravati would like Kyoto. We are much different from Americans. Confrontation is frowned upon and avoided in Japanese society, especially with ladies. We would like your nice ladies to come to Kyoto. Thank you.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Ex-mayor Blake Caravati Blathers to Charlottesville-Besancon in Private E-mail!

Pull up a chair y'all . . .

It's almost too much to bear. Almost. The first envoy arrived June 4, 2007:

"If, you have an opportunity in the coming weeks, I would like to speak with you about your Besancon-Charlottesville webpage. As I am sure you are aware there are numerous factual errors in your rendition about the origination of the Jumelage. It is these and only these that I would like to try to correct. I am sure that you agree this Jumelage, all jumelages, are good things for our City and Country. So if we maybe work together to tell both sides of the story fairly, we all will be the better for it. I have absolutely no concern for the more lurid parts of your web page, although I think they are misplaced and have nothing to do with the Jumelage. I will give you a call this week in hopes that we can arrange a time to speak . Hope all is well. Blake Caravati 434-242-7832"


To which Charlottesville-Besancon.com cheerfully replied on June 7th - stating a willingness to meet with the "stinky French cheese" man himself and would be open to discussing any matter of his concern, provided a tape recorder be present to save such a precious encounter for posterity 'n hilarity.

Held our collective breaths for a full two weeks... no reply... so to the blog-o-sphere it goes.

and now line for line....

"As I am sure you are aware there are numerous factual errors in your rendition about the origination of the Jumelage."

What a dummkopf (click here for pronuciation) statement. Here at Charlottesville-Besancon.com we spend hours researching the prats, pendejos, heros and hucksters of Charlottesville - hyperlinking their follies, adventures, and feats. Geeks to the core, we dig on getting our facts straight, and footnote/cite every story. Besides, the truth is MUCH funnier than anything our puny imaginations could come up with. Obviously if we were aware of ANY factual errors we would immediately correct such mistakes.

"It is these and only these that I would like to try to correct."

Send some links. Send some data. Put up or shut up... Stinky.

"I am sure that you agree this Jumelage, all jumelages, are good things for our City and Country."

So dense. Denser than dogwood. Denser than Osmium. Dense like a degenerate dwarf. No, Stinky, while some jumelages may not suck, the whole point is that this one does. It stinks. It reeks. It blows donkeys from up on high. It shoots defecated snicker bars into one's trousers.

"So if we maybe work together to tell both sides of the story fairly, we all will be the better for it."

Feeling better already... though you're encouraged to show us your data. Stinky is blustering because we have told our side of the story as a result of Mrs. Andrée "Show Me The Money" King proudly touting her/his/their side of the story all over Charlottesville, slandering and libeling to her heartless heart's content.

"I have absolutely no concern for the more lurid parts of your web page, although I think they are misplaced and have nothing to do with the Jumelage."

Au contraire, Stinky, the lurid bits have everything to do with this Jumelage. That is the point. Instead of thinking the outrageous behavior of Mrs. King is misplaced, Stinky thinks the reporting of the situation is misplaced. Yes, it is a lurid story. In fact, there's almost nothing about this Jumelage that is not lurid, detestable, rank, and bogus. Perhaps you'd have preferred some scribble on the $400,000 Free Speech Wall? That is soooo stinky, Stinky!

Seriously - google it. Yahoo it (both @ #1 at the time of this post). The private party you've thrown yourselves on everyone else's nickle is crashing and burning... we're bringing the marshmallows and graham crackers.

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Thursday, June 14, 2007

CONSPIRACY?

From Wnhowel@aol.com - "I've stumbled across your website, and I
am confused: what is the nature of the conspiracy that you say you
have uncovered? There are many insinuations about money, but I
don't follow as to who is raking in the cash, and how. Can you clarify?"

Monday, June 11, 2007

Festival of the Photograph vs Salon de l'Erotisme - Prudes v Perverts

Charlottesville's Festival of the Photograph went through with only a few minor hitches... seems some gorilla was peeking at Besancon's Salon de l'Erotisme and got a bit excited.... this is hard to watch. Ya gotta give some to Besancon for their in-your-face hedonism and Las Vegas style promotion.... not much though. Frankly the prudes who get scared when their kids see a monkey with a hard-on should take a trip to the Natural Bridge Zoo, or visit a goat farm... maybe take notes (no pictures, huh?) ... as for team Besancon... no question ya'll are winning the freakshow, meanwhile Charlottesville's hedonist crew represents with a bit more class a la Shentai Carnival...

meanwhile try to imagine the Paramount theatre hosting one of these.... fun for the whole fubar family...

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